#2 Stalking can happen to anyone
While stalking is often directed at someone from a previous or current intimate relationship, a person can also be stalked by roommates, friends, classmates, colleagues or someone they have never met or only met once, including matches on dating apps.
Here are some ways to identify healthy, unhealthy and concerning behaviors that may prompt someone to seek additional help or support:
Healthy boundaries are:When you say “no” the other person respectfully leaves you alone and does not attempt to contact you again.
Unhealthy behaviors are:When you say “no” the other person continues to contact you again and again.
Consider discussing with someone or documenting what is happening:When you say “no” more than once and the other person tries to talk you into saying “yes,” continues to contact you and/or contacts you more often.
Consider seeking help from an advocate, the police, or other professional:When you are contacted repeatedly, the other person shows up where you are, indirectly threatens you, is disrespectful and/or does not take “no” for an answer.
Call 911:When the other person directly threatens you, tries to harm you, harms you or damages your property (including your pets).
#3 Context is key
Gift giving, location tracking, or sending multiple texts can be components of a healthy friendship or romantic relationship. It can feel really special for your roommate to bring you a coffee just because or have friends checking an app to make sure you got home safe. The key here is that these behaviors are wanted and help increase a sense of safety within the relationship.
Stalking, on the otherhand, is a pattern of unwanted behavior that reduces a person’s sense of safety. From the outside it may look similar to some of those innocuous behaviors, but to the person experiencing it, it can really feel threatening. The context of the behavior and the impact it has on the recipient is key.
Stalking violates CU’s campus policies and is considered a serious crime in Colorado. CU Boulder provides a number of reporting and support options for those experiencing stalking.
Support resources for students, staff and faculty
If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking behaviors, it’s important to connect them with appropriate support resources and services.
