Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week, I’m happy to be sharing my interview with Dana from Creating Baby H. She talks about her experience with infertility, IUIs, and IVF after avasectomy. I hope you enjoy the interview!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Dana Hnatyshyn, I am currently 27 years old and have been married to my wonderful husband for only 6 months now…it has been the best 6 months of my life! I come from a very small and close knit family of an older brother, younger sister, mom and dad. I currently live outside of Annapolis, Maryland for about a year now but previously lived in Baltimore City for about 5 years. I went to a small liberal arts college in North Carolina to ride horses and received my bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Accounting. I have been working for my families business for 5 years now as their payroll manager and administrative assistant, working with family is not all wonderful but I love my coworkers so it makes coming into work more enjoyable. I met my husband back in October of 2013 when my house was burglarized and he was the police officer who came to help me fill out a police report. He actually told me about a place where he took his dog to for daycare and that I should check it out with my dog, I started taking my dog to the same daycare and I approached him in December to see if he remembered who I was. After talking for a bit he asked me on a date and on December 27th, 2013 was my last first date I ever went on! I love all animals and currently have a cat, dog and a horse but have grown up around all sorts of animals.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
Our issues with fertility are a little different. We knew before we got married we would have to seek fertility treatment in order to have a biological child. My husband was married before me and had to get a vasectomy because if his ex-wife got pregnant it would’ve paralyzed her. Now, my husband is a very caring man and did this for her but wanted to save some of his sperm in case he wanted to have a baby one day and had that option. So we started with 6 samples frozen. We went to our clinic in Annapolis, Shady Grove, and started with our testing before our wedding in August, 2015. My husband is older so we knew we would want to start treatment right after we got back from our honeymoon.
Our doctor told us we should start with a natural IUI cycle with a trigger shot since all my numbers came back fine and my husbands count on his frozen sperm was very high. Our doctor also told us we could try IUI a few times, and using a procedure called PESA, they could still get sperm from my husband even if we ran out from our samples. We felt less pressure this way and thought natural IUI was a great way to start and we hoped it would work.
In July, before our wedding and before fertility treatments, my husband was diagnosed with chronic Leukemia. This was heartbreaking all around and not what anyone wants to hear before their wedding but we did receive good news that there was a chemo drug that my husband would be put on to get his numbers under control and get his Leukemia under control. My husband is currently in remission but will be on this chemo drug for the rest of his life. We were nervous going into fertility treatments now with this new diagnosis to consider. We went through our first IUI in September, right after our honeymoon, and didn’t get a positive. We told our nurse that we wanted to be a little more proactive in our treatments because we now only have the 6 frozen samples to work with and we aren’t sure what the chemo drugs have done to the sperm in his body.
Our next cycle was IUI with Clomid and a trigger. I produced 1 large follicle on day 12 so we triggered that night and waited. Again, we were met with a negative. After this negative we decided to move on with IVF. We are currently on day 5 of injectables for our first IVF cycle and are staying hopeful that we will get some good embryos!
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
I use the apps, Verse-a-Day and Inspirations, on my phone [and they] have been very helpful on my journey. I am Christian but am still searching for my Church family so I go to reading Scripture and prayer on my own and with my husband. I think the one verse that I have saved to my phone that has really helped me is Romans 8:24-25.
“For we were saved in hope, but hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for that which he sees? But if we hope for that which we don’t see, we wait for it with patience.”
I feel like this really relates with me and anyone going through treatments. We keep going forward and persevering and never giving up because we have hope that one day we will be holding our own baby. We can’t physically see our future baby but we are waiting for that baby with patience. I also read a lot of blogs from former fertility patients and recently started my own blog in hopes that it will help at least 1 person.
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
I think both my husband and I cope with infertility in the same way and different ways. We both turn to prayer to talk with God about our future baby that we hope will one day be with us. I know our story is different and the reason I am going through treatments is for my husband so I think he feels a sense of guilt when it comes to everything I have to go through. He is the most supportive man I know and I hope and try to never make him feel this way and make him feel that we are in this journey together. I don’t resent him for what I am going through, I am doing it because I want to have his biological child so I am deciding to go through with this myself as well. He drives me to all my appointments and has given me all my injections. I think this has helped us become closer and feel the support my husband has for me.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
I did slip a little health wise during our IUI’s and then we took a break around Christmas time before IVF so I did enjoy a few too many unhealthy snacks. During Lent I try to give something up that I love to remind myself what Jesus went through for us so right now I am on a no junk food diet and it has really helped me with my focus on being healthy again. I do go to acupuncture twice a month and go to yoga about twice a month as well. I feel like these are both ways to keep me calm and focused on my body and what it needs. My husband and I also go on daily walks to make sure we both get some exercise in.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
My lowest point was after our second IUI didn’t work. I ended up sitting in the shower crying for a while to let it all out. We were really hopeful going in and all our numbers looked correct. I stayed calm the entire time and everyone kept saying, “This is it. I have a good feeling.” I get my hopes up really easily and it was a pretty hard pill to swallow when we found out it didn’t work. I prayed a lot to God and read a lot of Scripture and really started reflecting on my journey with my husband. We have had many bumps in our own journey and I realized that after each bump something amazing happened and I think this is Gods way of bringing us closer to Him and making our love grow with each other. I was able to pick myself back up and realize that this was just not how God had planned it and we will move on until we get a clearer picture of what our own journey is supposed to look like. We also decided to switch offices and doctors. We still stayed with Shady Grove but just a new environment. This gave us a renewed hope and outlook on treatment and I have to say so far I enjoy going to my morning appointments where before I dreaded them.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
I think I touched on our silver lining above some but it really has brought my husband and I closer together and also us closer with God. We are now actively trying to find our church home and trying to surround ourselves with positive energy and outlook. I take care of my body more now then I did before and I actually feel like I know myself a lot more than before starting treatment. I have this new sense of calm over me that I take things a day at a time and don’t get so worked up when things don’t go as planned. Anyone who is going through treatment knows nothing goes as they had planned it out in their head.
Q. Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?
I recently started my own blog and realized it is a great outlet to actually write and read your own journey through treatment. I also think it helps to tell people and open up to people about what you are going through. I have found that more people are interested in the whole process and wanting to hear more about it. Also, lean on your spouse if you need to; you aren’t going through this alone and they are probably feeling some of the same feelings as you are. I wrote everything down in my blog and then shared it with my husband and he actually loved reading it and knowing how I am feeling through everything. Even if I can just touch one person’s life and to help them out in their own journey it would make me feel like I did my job.
Many thanks to Dana for sharing her story with us here. Please leave her a comment to let her know you appreciate her!
If you’re looking for more encouragement during infertility, be sure to check out my book, 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility.
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